I Hate Exercising, But…

Words cannot describe how much I hate exercising. I have stated many times how much I hate it, this time is no different. I want to punch Jillian Michaels in the face every time I do the 30 Day Shred. Why do I continue to do it if I hate it so much? It works, I have tried other programs and they are okay but the Shred hands you your ass every time, even a bad workout is still good. I haven’t been hard core 10 days straight, I have allowed for other workouts and give myself a 2 day break. Since I am not in my 30s anymore I am finding this to be adequate for me. The Shred is hard on the joints, so I am trying to be mindful I am 41 (I really am – yes I have great genes) so I am spacing it out this time around.

I started on this latest quest December 27th because I know if I had started January 1, I would go one week and be done (breaking New Year Resolutions and stuff). Things I have noticed since starting, I drink more water and less alcohol. I have been averaging 72oz plus of water a day and maybe 2 drinks a week. My headaches are less, work has been crazy so it is nice to have an outlet that allows me to pretend punching people. Working out at 5am is not for me, I have tried it, it sucks. I have been working out after work and surprisingly it has worked, probably because I feel better. It took me about two weeks to get through Level 1 of the 30 Day Shred, as I said it works for me. However, Level 2 of the Shred is used as torture, it has to be (planks, walk out push-ups, military presses with leg lifts, and more planks) I almost cried during the workout (I did finish it).

Why? Why am I doing this? You look fine. I am not, my stress is off the charts (COVID in a hotel with non-maskers makes my eye twitch and very stabby), my clothes do not fit, and my headaches are back. I have suffered from migraines since I was 14, the only time I wasn’t on medication was when I was exercising regularly. The day after Christmas I had a horrible migraine, I went to work on a crap ton of IBUPROFEN and eventually left early. I never leave early but I had started seeing spots and I knew I had to get home before my migraine made it so I couldn’t drive. I know what you are thinking, how do you know it was a migraine and not COVID? I took Imitrex when I got home, went to bed (slept for 14 hours) woke up and felt fine. That migraine made me realize I needed a change, I had turned into a slug, I needed to take control again. The next day I started the Shred, it hasn’t been easy, I hate exercising and the excuses have been there but I have managed for the most part to overcome them. Have I had lazy days, eating ice cream and laying on the couch painting, I don’t beat myself up over it, the next day I get back on the horse. I have been thrown off this horse many times (many, many, many times) however I am starting to accept that I have been really hard on myself and maybe that is why I burn out. Maybe if I keep myself in relatively good shape it will help with not getting COVID. I don’t know about that last statement, what I do know, I am sleeping better, I feel better (even though I feel those workouts the next day), I have noticed my pants are a tad looser (however, I wear fleece leggings under them so that makes it hard to tell). I definitely hate it but for me at least it is a necessary evil and I will continue to bitch about working out because I am working out and I hate it. I do it because I don’t want to be on some reality TV show some day, stating how miserable I am.

I am optimistic this time around that I will find a happy medium. One where I can eat ice cream, be a slug and then have my ass kicked by Jillian Michaels on a fairly regular basis (I am still trying to figure out the regular basis).

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