My blog was started for keeping track of my projects – I needed to be held accountable for what I was making. It then became my notebook and sometimes I write about my everyday life. Today is one of those days I plan on writing about me and what is happening in my life.
I was scheduled for surgery tomorrow to remove scar tissue around my ovaries. Thursday morning I got a call from my doctor (OBGY) saying there was a problem with my blood work. I went to the Hematologist/Oncologist for a complete blood work up. I had seven tubes of blood drawn and the shock of it possibly being something very serious really freaked me out. My white blood cells and platelet count were extremely low, which can mean anything from an infection to cancer. Jeff has been so calm and collective through all the doctor appointments (I do believe he is caught up on his magazine reading). He is also been an amazing friend, by listening and the most important thing making me laugh because laughing during this has helped me immensely.
Friday morning my day started with a yummy Barium Berry Shake (eye roll – that stuff is vile). I went in bright and early so they could scan my belly. If you never had a CT Scan let me describe what happens: You drink two things of Barium (they claim taste like berries – maybe radioactive berries) and then they put contrast into your body so you glow in the dark during the CT Scan. It makes you warm and tingly I guess that is what radiation does. So Friday at 5:30 I get a call from my doctor saying they canceled my surgery. I was also informed I could have anything from Mono to Leukemia. I spent the weekend freaking out that I could possibly have cancer. I have two small kids and the last thing I want is for them to remember me being sick. The more I thought about it the worst I thought if I were to die, Booga would not remember me and my daughter may remember snap shots but not what I was like. I was a wreck. I woke up Sunday morning to Jeff reading to the kids and made myself a promise – I will see my kids grow up, graduate from high school and college, get married and have my grandkids. I owe my kids that much I will not check out or feel sorry for myself. Once I reached that point I realized no matter if it is cancer I will make it through. Despite people saying I am dying, I’m not, I am still kicking and plan to be for a while.
Today, I went in for a Bone Marrow Biopsy – I promise it is not as scary as it seems. The procedure was done in the office with a local and took maybe 10 minutes. It really didn’t hurt more pressure than anything. I got a band-aid (no sucker or sticker ). I am on the National Bone Marrow registry and have been since I was 18. Having this procedure did not detour me from being on the registry if anything it strength it. They also took more blood there was good news my platelets were back to normal levels and my white blood cells were also higher than Thursday.
My band aid from the Bone Marrow Biopsy
The doctor told me that she is thinking it is more of an infection and not cancer (HUGE relief) but she wanted to run everything to make sure I am okay. I was also told I could be a medical oddity (paging Dr. House). The whole time I was thinking maybe it is Lupus… wait it is never Lupus.
I will say that being told you could possibly have cancer is really scary and knocks you back into a reality of what really matters to you? I am grateful for my blog but I did not freak out on Friday when Blogger went crazy. I’m sorry but that really isn’t all that important in the giant picture of everyday life. What is important to me? My kids, my amazing, wonderful husband who has been by my side for every appointment (I love you), my mom and my friends (y’all rock!)
So if I don’t post many projects it is because I am currently unable to produce a lot of stuff. I am still on no Booga lifting duty and grounded to the couch (an enlarged spleen will do that) but I am starting to feel a lot better (finally). I hope everyone enjoys the digis I will be putting up soon – I will have some freebies soon
Oh Manda, I'm sorry you're having to go through all this but you've got such a great attitude about it and I do believe positive thinking has a huge effect. You know I'm here for you for anything I can possibly do – if you need someone to talk to or whatever. I love you, my friend, and you will stay in my thoughts and prayers!
God did not put you on this earth to die – he put you here to live! Keep up your good attitude and keep creating.
i always watch house md because the story line is great and you learn something about medicine too. ”