I haven’t posted in a couple days because we have had a lot of stuff going on, including something that we did not expect, our Princess is being bullied. The Princess is in First Grade, this is NOT something that you would EVER expect. I noticed the change last week, when she didn’t want to go to the school Trunk or Treat, something she had been talking about for close to two weeks. She wasn’t feeling good so I attributed it to that. We stayed home and she had her first breakdown that no one wanted to play with her at recess anymore, I tried to get more details from her but she was just sad and I let her cry. In a time span of 7 days, my high honor roll student went from loving school to not wanting ANYTHING to do with it. It slowly progressed to not really wanting to do homework, crying on her way home from school, not wanting to go Trick or Treating, to the major breakdown Friday morning of her not EVER wanting to go to school again and telling me NO ONE would come to her birthday party on Saturday. That is when I knew it was time to step in and let the teacher know (in hindsight I should have done it earlier). Her teacher had no idea what was going on but together we will find out WHO is doing this to her (and I found out Saturday one of her friends as well).
We teach our children to be nice, kind, gentle, considerate and caring towards others. It kills me that not everyone teaches their children this and let this kind of behavior run rampant in our society. Bullying is LEARNED so chances are they are learning it from their home life – yes I am blaming the parents, because it is ultimately the parents responsibility to rein in their child if they are acting like this, NOT SOCIETY. IT is NOT the teachers, the police, the community leaders responsibility to discipline your child it is yours. Now the teachers, police, community leaders are there for support but should not be expected to do YOUR JOB, they are however expected to conduct themselves in a respectful manner and not demonstrate bullying in any form! If you could not handle the responsibility of being a parent than you should not have had this child.
Bullying is a big problem and the only thing we can do is support our child and tell her that it isn’t true whatever is being said to her. For people who say bullying is a part of growing up and doesn’t have life long consequences I say “BULL SHIT!” I was bullied as a child and I know what it can do to your self-esteem and self confidence (even as an adult). I still to this day hate lip stick because of the bullying I went through as a child. I also know if this does not stop my high Honor Roll Student will NOT be one much longer because she will shut down, I have started to see it. Bullies have a power that make you scared and suffer in silence because you are afraid that one NO ONE will believe you and that the bully will hurt you even more if you tell. This is what we are dealing with right now she will not talk about it at all, she just starts crying or doesn’t say anything at all.
What are we doing to help her deal with this? Several things. First we are showing her that she does have friends (Saturday we had a house full of kids here for her party and she smiled something that has been greatly missed over the past week). We are planning more play dates with friends. We are letting her create, writing, drawing, painting hoping this outlet will help. Finally we enrolled her in Karate something that she has been wanting to do for a while and I have no problem with her using it if she ever needs to.
I am also telling EVERY ONE that this is happening because the more people know the more of a chance we will find out who is doing this to her and her friend. Bullying is serious and NOT acceptable behavior at any age or in any situation. We as a society need to stop feeding the bullies, if we do that they will slowly fade into oblivion. Until then we need to ban together and become a solid support system for those who are being bullied and show them it is NOT okay to do that to anyone. I am one person but I will be damned if I am going to take this sitting down, I am doing this for every person who has ever been bullied or is being bullied. Bullying is WRONG, never forget that if it is happening to you or your child, friend, etc. chances are it is happening to someone else too. Speak up find the courage deep inside you to speak your mind, NO ONE has the right to do that to you. The last part has taken me 25 plus years to do but I am NOT going to let my child go through what I went through, times are different and we need to show society we do not stand for the hatred that is being spewed.
I commend you… I taught my children early early on not to be bullied my anyone, And if your teachers does not see it or acknowledge it, then thats when I step in. My kids were never bullies and never bullied. I wish I had a balance younger because I was a bully and since having children it breaks my heart to see other children suffer. Keep doing what you are doing. You are good parents. I remember the first thing my son said to me as he got off the bus in kindergarten… Mummy…some of those kids are so mean? Do they not have mummys and daddys?
Keep strong…you will show her she can be strong too!
I agree with you Amanda. Lani was getting bullied. It hurt so bad to have your Princess in the car and out of the blue, just start crying uncontrollably. I’m in the middle of the road, can’t get pulled over fast enough. All i can do is hold her, let her cry it out….after she stops crying, she tells me that a little girl tells her(Lani) that another child’s parent says means things about her. I don’t know this parent and neither does Lani. It was said that this parent told other children that Lani “is brown, 6 1/2 and has fat legs”. I may have been wrong to tell her that those people are STUPID because they say STUPID things! Looking back, I should’ve chose my words differently. We’re not allowed to use the “S” word in our house because it hurts peoples’ feelings. That’s how I felt. She calmed down and I spoke to the counselor about it, she hasn’t gotten back to me yet. Due to the fact that Lani didn’t know the child’s name, they are trying to do something.
I was bullied myself. It hurts. It stays with you. For your child, the person(s) your would kill for to go through the same damn thing. I feel helpless. Amanda, you’re absolutely right. We have to speak up. There are parents who care, and unfortunately there are parents who could give a s#!*. When it hits home, then they’ll care.
I’m so deeply sorry Princess Jillian went through that. You’re doing an awesome job Amanda!!!!!