Who Are You Calling Crafty?

Several years ago for Christmas I received a Darth Vader Toaster from my grandma, we loved it and got a huge kick out of it. Darth lived on the counter space next to the stove. Wally recently started going through the trash again so we have been putting the trash can on the counter in Darth’s place and have been moving Darth usually to a burner that was covered on the stove. I sure you understand the foreshadowing that is coming.

As I do every morning I turned the stove on for my tea and went back to get my clothes organized for work. I left my phone in the kitchen and my 7am alarm went off. I walked into the kitchen and there was a melting smoking Darth on the stove, I turned the wrong burner on. I immediately shut the stove off and threw the metal cover into the sink. The whole house was a blue haze, which definitely makes me worry about my smoke detectors. Before you say didn’t the stove burner light go on, no our stove is on the older side and there is no light telling you what burner you have on. Our stove only tells you if the stove is on.

After the initial shock, burning several fingers by getting the metal cover and a smoking, melting Darth off the stove. I texted Jeff, I almost burned the house down this morning with a picture of Darth in the sink. I lost it, I sat on the couch and cried over a toaster. I didn’t just cry, I was wailing over the whole situation. I destroyed the toaster my grandma gave me, I almost burnt my house down, I could have hurt my dogs, been homeless and hurt my new windows all for a cup of tea. Jeff responded: That’s what really happened to the melted Vader helmet, as seen in Episode VII. Which made me laugh through the tears.

I admit I do have a history of turning the wrong burner on. When I was pregnant with Jillian I turned the burner on instead of the stove, fell asleep on the coach and had a Pyrex dish explode all over the kitchen. Nothing like molten glass everywhere to ruin your day. When we get a new stove, I want that stove dummy proof, I want lights and a voice saying are you sure you want the front burner on? To make me think before turning on the wrong burner.

I guess until this morning I didn’t realize how much that toaster meant to me. I mean who cries over a toaster? Me, I do because he sat there watched us every day and it meant after my grandma passed in June 2020, she was still there watching us every morning. This morning that ended in a smokey, melted plastic, and blue haze. I know she was watching over me because there really should have been a fire when I walked into the kitchen and there wasn’t. I feel like I let her down because I killed the toaster. On the other hand she always said if you’re going to make a mess, make a big one. I definitely did that this morning.